By Tarzana Joe


The things that make me happy now,
I count on just one pinky
So tell me how to deal with
The extinction of the Twinkie

I can cope with unemployment
And with rising wholesale pricing
As long as I have access
To some cake with choc’late icing

For if I’m feeling lowly
Here’s what gets me in the mood
A little creamy filling
And a lot of devil’s food

And when I’m on the money
And a compliment is paid me
I let me friends and fans know
It was Wonder Bread that made me

But the lawyers and the bakers
Are more radical than clever
And they’ve gone and killed a product
That we thought would last forever

Now the Ho-Ho and the Ding Dong
Have sailed off into the night
And I’m starting to consider
That the Mayans may be right



Tarzana Joe, the poet laureate of the Hugh Hewitt Radio Show, can be heard on air in the 3rd hour of the broadcast on most Fridays. His wonderful poetry can be found at

Reprint with permission by Tarzana Joe, who can be contacted to pen the perfect poem for any occasion at …see the linked form.