By Tarzana Joe



I have advice to offer
And I hope it’s not too late
For anyone who finds himself
Involved in a debate

These are not the tactics
Used by those who twist and spin
But put them into practice…
It’s a decent bet you’ll win

Skills I learned in High School
And see how far they’ve brought me
Built upon the lessons
That old Fr. Gerry taught me

LISTEN to the question
And answer it directly
Plain talk keeps you way ahead
Of speaking circumspectly

Wrap your words around the truth
At least try staying near it
Everybody knows a fabrication
When they hear it

Don’t let your simple statements
Metastasize like cancers
You’ll win some people over
By just giving one word answers

When your opponent mocks your plan
Here’s how you can get through it
When he says that it can’t be done
You say, “Just watch me do it”

When he pooh-poohs the price of gas
You say, “This much is sure
Until we ALL get hybrids
It’s a tax right on the poor.

When he keeps touting health care
Make this your parting shot
Massachusetts wanted it
America did not

Just be the man you know you are
That’s how a bully’s schooled
Despite how we might like to be
Not everyone is fooled.



Tarzana Joe, the poet laureate of the Hugh Hewitt Radio Show, can be heard on air in the 3rd hour of the broadcast on most Fridays. His wonderful poetry can be found at

Reprint with permission by Tarzana Joe, who can be contacted to pen the perfect poem for any occasion at …see the linked form.